Fears...
6:56 p.m. - Thursday, Jul. 17, 2003

Well, haven't been updating for quite a while now.. Was busy trying to survive school. Now, its almost the end of the second week into the school term, and I feel drained already.. It's as if going to school just drains all the energy out of me. It starts so slowly and subtly that I never notice it, but when I finally do, I'm already too tired to do anything about it..

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Saw a ex colleague yesterday while I was rushing through the temperature checks.. I saw him in front of me, so near that I could just reach out and touch him, but I didn't. I don't know what made me hestitate, perhaps it was the fear of him not recognizing me, and thus being embarassed, or maybe it was the fear of being rejected as we didn't exactly part on the best of terms.. It has been over a year since I last saw him, many a time I had thought of contacting him and trying to mend this strained friendship... After all, he was good company and always had a ready listening ear.. But I didn't, I've always feared of being rejected, so I let this potentially good firendship die away. Now, I can't even remember what made us part ways, probably a silly squabble. Anyhow, what I would hope for now is to at least have a friendly greeting when and if I see him next, and not have him throw it back in my face..

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i am: Female, 22, likes to call herself the "Purple Goddess", former wild child mellowed out, doesnt like people who fart indiscriminately

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