soulsearching

Mum's 50th!
3:24 a.m. - Monday, Mar. 24, 2008

Sooo.. I know its been a long time since I last updated. I mean, everything is so much easier with Facebook. I just plonk all the pictures into it and thats that! But I guess I should make an effort some time or another, so thats why I didn't plonk this set of photos into Facebook! So hardworking. =)

Alright, so the occasion was my mum's 50th! birthday on the 16th of February 2008! My my, old already. Hahahaha! Ok, anyway, photos..

We had a steamboat dinner. Which is almost typical of any chinese family during the CNY period.

Finally! The appearance of the STAR that night. Took 2 hours to bathe and make up and all that nonsense that she does.

This one starts young. My nephew Shaun. Can be fussing and making alot of noise, once you point a camera in his direction, he shuts up and poses. As demostrated in the above picture.

Relatives attacking the steamboat.

Cousins.

More cousins.

The STAR showing off her jewellery. Which I didn't get a good shot of cos she kept moving around. And no, she's not touching her boob. Ewwww..

The STAR and her daughter, the Purple Goddess.

2 of my newphews, Shaun and Ruben.

Yam Birthday cake!

Fucking huge birthday cake la! I forgot how big exactly, but damn big. And heavy! See how thick it is!

My brothers, Dan and I.

The STAR's sisters(some missing) and cousin.

Some of the elder male relatives.

The STAR's nieces. The females outnumber the males bigtime.

The STAR's nephews.

The STAR's grand-nephews and nieces.

Ahhhh! Happy only show armpit. TSK TSK!

Ok, faster cut cake so we can eat!

Leonard feeding my mum cake and reciting some dialect rhyme which roughly translated into, "You brought me up, I'll take care of you when you are old."

Linus doing the same thing. No pictures of me cos no one automatic enough. Haiyah.

My dad came home half drunk at about 9pm. He wasn't around cos he was at the Chingay Parade as one of the participants. Which involved him riding around in his harley of awhile then going off to get drunk with his mates. Which explains his red face and drunken grin.

No comments.

The not-to-be-missed-gambling essential to every CNY gathering.

Finally, the end. Ok faster go home, I want to sleep. Lol!

Alright, that's it. Hands tired. Sleepy. Ciao!

-
6:07 p.m. - Sunday, Feb. 03, 2008

Reoccurring nightmares have been plaguing me for close to 2 months now. I don't always remember them when I wake up gasping for air, cold sweat dripping down my back, tears on my face. But of those that I retain a shard of memory, its usually of me dying in various ways, of sickness or accidents. Either that or I'm in a place filled with death and sickness. I've tried getting to the root of the problem, but I just can't seem to find it. I know it sounds so morbid. The only time I seem to be able to sleep in peace is when I'm with Dan. But I can't always stay over at his place. I've tried drinking till I was drunk, but even that doesn't always work. I still wake up sick and sweating and gagging in the middle of the night.

This lack of peaceful sleep is taking its toll on me. I'm starting to feel down all the time. I put up a brave front for all to see, and battle my demons in the middle of the night. No one has an inkling of whats going on inside me. And I don't know if the people who read this has any idea how difficult it is for me to make it public. I'm a private person, to the extend that I wouldn't tell anyone my troubles and fears. Only my happiness. The only reason why I'm doing this now I because in case I finally snap, you guys would understand why.

So I'm slowly trying to deal with everything. Please don't ask me how I'm feeling or what triggered all this. It'll only make me feel worse. So please try to understand if I can't hang out with you guys as often as before. I'm running to the only sanctuary I have.

Sushi and missing Duians. =(
1:59 p.m. - Sunday, Jan. 27, 2008

Yesterday was my Aunt Kathleen's Birthday. Went to have sushi at Sakae Sushi. Then the plan was to go buy durians after dinner thn head back to my granny's plan to eat it. So excited! But in the end, it was not meant to be, the blardy durians were SOLD OUT!!I was sooooo FUCKING MAD! I whined and sulked and pouted until my granny had to smack my bottom to get me to stop. Hmpf. Anyway.. Photos.

Birthday Girl!

Remember this lady? The one who PUSHED ME INTO THE POOL ON MY 21ST BIRTHDAY?!

She can also cam whore ok!

Ice Cube
9:27 a.m. - Friday, Jan. 11, 2008

Met up with the SW gang last friday.. Pity the rest couldn't make it, with commitments and work and all that.. Had dinner at Chomp Chomp then moved on to Ice Cube for desserts. Oh my, yummy crepes and waffles. Going back there soon for crepes on tuesday, cos its 50% off all crepes then! Just like Gelare. I like.. =)

Left: Hui Ping, Merril, Neeta and Jensen
Right: Me, Yi Guang and Huat

Gossiping boys.. Tsk tsk. lol.

Hui Ping is happy!

Guang is even happier!

Been fun. Should do it again sometime soon. =D

The dreaded.... SHOPPING BUG!
6:09 p.m. - Sunday, Dec. 30, 2007

I've been a naughty girl today. I spent $256.20 in half an hour. Bad girl Lavina, bad girl!

$209 on a pair of purple suede heels from Hue. Then $47.20 on a top from Island Shop. There you go, $256.20 in half an hour. Sigh. I better hide tday's loot from my mum to save me from a nagging. But they are soooo nice! The shopping bug has officially hit me. So many more things I want to buy!

SOMEONE STOP ME!

My room is almost complete! My wardrobe is up! So much space for my clothes! My new bed is sooo comfy! New bedsheets from Dan's mum as Christmas present! Purple bedsheets, pillow case and bolster case from Aussino. Imma very very happy girl. =D I need a bedside table too. Maybe in purple too? Hahhaha! Maybe not, that would be taking things abit too far. Hehe..

Long overdue post
10:14a.m. - Tuesday, Dec. 25, 2007

Its Christmas and I'm at work. So far, since I opened the gym at 7am, there has only been 5 members who came in. 5! In 3hours! I'm bored out of my skull. I've read every available magazine in the gym, done all my paper work, cleaned everything that should be cleaned and some more, and I'm still bored. I feel kinda like I'm being paid to come to work and waste time.

Going to Dan's place for a Christmas party later. Haven't gotten a gift for his mum yet. DIE. Hope at least some shops are open, so at least I won't be going there empty handed.

Went to Ikea over the weekend. I got myself a new and much bigger wardrobe! New bed! New table! New curtains! Everything to match my new purple walls! Imma happy girlie. =D So with new wardrobe space, that means I can buy more clothes right? Heehee.

Got myself pampered last week by going for a manicure, but job wasn't very well done. Further more, I chipped the nail polish just 2 days after my manicure. So got myself a express manicure yesterday near work at Citylink. Job also not very well done. Walau. It seems almost impossible for me to get a manicure that's reasonably priced and decently done! Am I forever doomed to have proper manicures done only at Dashing Diva?! So expensive! $50 for single colour manicure! Anyone with good recommendations for reasonably priced manicures that are decently done?!!

As of now, I have 6 blisters on both feet. Damn those patent leather heels! But they are so nice that I'm thinking of gettng them in another colour. I'm a sucker for pain.

This post is super random lah.

ALCOHOL!
9:06 a.m. - Saturday, Nov. 03, 2007

Man, I've had quite alot to drink this week. Just the other night, Dan was over at my place to help finish up the many many bottles of wine my brother, Linus, brought home. Linus was working at the wine fair as a glass washer (LOL!), and at the end of every night, he got to bring home all the unfinished bottles of wine. At the end of his 3 day job, we had a total of 15 bottles of wine at home! Wah lau.. Heaven I tell you.. Started out with just me and Dan drinking the wine and chilling out to Bob Marley. Then my dad came home 1/3 drunk, and from then on, it progressively became wilder and wilder! From chill out Bob Marley, it progressed to The Doors, then to Jimi Hendrix. From The Doors onwards, both my dad and Dan had copious amounts of wine to drink and were screaming their lungs out to the songs. Somewhere along the line, my mum, Linus and Leonard joined us in the living room and it turned into a wine party! All of us had at least a glass of wine, except Leonard. He said he didn't want to get drunk. WIMP. Haha.. It was a whole lot of fun, and when it ended at 3am(!), I counted and discovered that between Dan, my dad and I, we drank 8 bottles of wine! Oh my goodness! We are such alcohol fiends! Hehe.. Found out the next day that both my dad and Dan doesn't remember what happened after halfway through the wine party. But the funny thing about drinking wine is that although you can get a hangover, but it isn't a depressing hangover. You sorta wake up with a smile on your face. Weird how only wine does that to you..

I should learn to stop myself from drinking the night before if I know that I have to work the morning shift the next day. But I can't seem to stop myself! And this was exactly what happened last night. It was one of Dan's friend's birthday. The birthday boy, Gene, was going to have it in O Bar with some of his other friends, which we initially didn't want to join cos I had to work. But somehow or other, we did end up in there. Sigh. Since we were early, Gene, his girlfriend, Dan and I managed to find those comfy seats with cushions. We started off with a Depth Charger each, and from then on, it was non stop pouring of alcohol down our throats. Finally went home at about 12, and till now, I'm nursing abit of a hangover and upset tummy. Sigh..

I think I still prefer my wines.

Taxi Drama Mama!!
9:35 a.m. - Friday, Oct. 19, 2007

Soooo... Imagine this senario. You are rushing for time because you are going to be late for work unless you get a cab, pronto. After waiting in vain for about 10 minutes and having encountered a blardy cab snatcher, you are not in the best of moods. You finally decided to call for a cab, and chose to call SMRT Taxi. After getting through to the lady operator, you gave her your handphone number and pick up location. Then she puts you on hold while she searches for a cab for you. You anxiously check your watch and notice that you are getting dangerously close to being LATE! Then you start panicking. You look around worriedly, and just your luck! An available cab coming in your direction! And since you are still on hold for a cab, and there wasn't any guarantee that there would definately be a cab coming for you, you flag down the available cab and ended the call.

There wasn't anything wrong with what you just did, you just did what was most important for you in that moment. Which was getting to work on time. After all, there has been many instances where you passed up on available cabs on the road because you were on hold for a cab booking, but to your utter horror, be told that there wasn't any available cabs and to try again later. You were not going to be naive enough to commit the same mistake twice, were you? Any intelligent person was going to do what you just did.

A couple minutes after you boarded the cab, you phone starts ringing, it was a unknown handphone number flashing on the screen. You suspected that it was probably the taxi uncle calling you back, but you didn't pick up. You reasoned that beacuse there was so many other people behind you waiting for a cab, the uncle would not be short of business. Then it starts ringing again, this time from an unknown land line. You suspected that it was most probably from the call operator. You know that you should pick up the call, but didn't because you didn't feel like dealing with it. It's too goddamn early in the morning for this man! Suddenly, after a couple more minutes, an SMS came from the unknown handphone number earlier on. It says, "What you did was irresponsible and inconsiderate to the taxi uncle who drove all the way to your place just to have the booking cancelled." You were extremely surprised and just a bit pissed off. After all, it wasn't one of the best mornings that you have ever had. You deduced that the SMS came from the call operator since it was quite impossble that the taxi uncle would refer to himself as the 'taxi uncle' in the SMS. Talking about himself in the third party context? Abit too self absorbed even for a taxi uncle, don't you think?

So, what do you think of that senario? Interesting morning, wouldn't you say? And that's exactly what happened to me this morning.

So after thinking through, I still wasn't happy that my personal information given to SMRT in faith, had been abused. So I called SMRT's Customer Service Hotline. I asked if there was any penalty if I cancelled a booking before it was confirmed. There wasn't. But just to be sure, they transfered me to the taxi booking line. I stated my case to the lady, and told her why. Silly me deleted the SMS as soon as I read it, but I could still remember what it said. So I told her what the SMS said, and I told her that whoever did this was very unprofessional. Using my personal information in that kind of context to berate me was uncalled for. Although true, I should have called back to say that I was cancelling the booking, that was still not an excuse to behave in that kind of unprofessional manner. I told her that I was quite disappointed with the service that I have received and it was quite impossible for me to book a taxi through them in the future. She asked for my name and number so that she could put it down in the feedback form. And we found out that she was the call operator that I had spoken to this morning. She asked for both the numbers that had been made to my phone. She said that she would check through the numbers of her colleagues to find out who it was that did it, and she also denied doing it. She also said that she would have to pass this to the case investigator to find out the culprit. I told her that it wasn't necessary, I just wanted to do this feedback and get it out of my system. So she appologized and all that, then we hung up. And I swore NEVER to use SMRT taxis ever again.

End of story? Not quite..

To my surprise, she called me back in about 10 minutes. Although I had said that I didn't want to pursue the matter, she called back the handphone number because it didn't match any of the numbers belonging to her colleagues. And she found out that the SMS actually came from the taxi uncle! So it does seem that some taxi uncles are self absorbed enough to talk about themselves in the third party context.. She just wanted to update me on the new development and to tell me that she herself would do a feedback on the taxi uncle to the case investigator. She didn't appreciate that the way the SMS was phrased, implied that the call operator, namely her, was the one that SMSed me. She wanted to defend herself as she didn't do anything wrong and was unknowingly dragged into the situation, so she called me to keep me abreast of the situation. I expressed my shock(!!) at this new development, and told her that I appreciated the effort.

And all that before 9am in the morning. Phew, how dramatic. What a long post, I'm exhausted.. And its just the start of the day..

Kumar Aftermath
6:45 p.m. - Tuesday, Oct. 16, 2007

Kumar was fun Fun FUN! Despite what the reviews said, he WAS funny! I enjoyed myself thoroughly!

Me, Dan, his mum and his mum's friend, Auntie Shirley, went for dinner at Out Of The Pan, at Raffles City Basement One. OMG.. The crepes were soooooo yummy! I had a Seafood Explosion something or other Crepe (bad memory as usual). Dan had a Peking Duck Crepe which was quite good. Then we had waffles with chocolate ice-cream. Good food overload man. I wanna go there again! Then we took a slow walk through Citylink where we came across BYSI having a renovation sale! 50-70% off all items! Dan's mum, Auntie Shirley and I almost went mad. Wah lao! So cheap man! I bought a white dress for $15.50! 50% off! I went home and showed it to my mum and she was jealous. Hehe!

Then we headed off to the Esplanade for the show where we met up with Dan's god-sis and her twin sis, their mum and their aunt. So many people! All girls except for Dan.. So can imagine the noise that 7 women makes. Fish market I tell you. All the gossiping, talking, shrieks of laughter.. Haiyoh. Lol. Anyway, I must say the Esplanade management is quite smart. There wasn't any reception for the phones once we stepped into the theater. So it didn't even matter if you put your phone on silent or not, it wouldn't ring anyway!

Kumar's performance was extravagant! All the costume changes and lewd jokes.. I was almost falling off the chair from laughing. But one thing I noticed even from where I was sitting(which wasn't very near), he has damn skinny legs! I know he's Indian and has Indian legs, but his was taking it a bit too far man! He looked like he was about to topple over anytime even though he's not fat! But he does work the stilettos and sequin dresses very well..

Next stop? The 3 Monkeys at Orchard Tower for his live performances.

Weight belts and what-nots
9:31 a.m. - Saturday, Oct. 06, 2007

There are many myths about gyming and fitness in general. But one of the most ridiculous ones I've actually seen is the useage of weight belts. There are a couple of weight belts for use in SRC Gym, and from what I see, 70% of the members do not know what the hell it is for, and the remaining 30%, about half of them use them in such a ridiculous fashion that I cannot help but laugh. Granted that most of the members here are either in the 40 years and above age group, or in the 21 years and below age group, so they may not know that much about fitness. But that's what the Fitness Instructors are there for! For you to ask questions! Haiyoh!

For those people who do not know what a weight belt is, refer below.

It is a belt that is supposed to provide support for your back when you are doing heavy weights, i.e heavy squats, deadlifts, clean and press. But recently, its has become more of an accessory than anything else!
To quote www.personalpowertraining.net,

When it comes to lifting heavy, a weight belt is more often a fashion accessory than an essential piece of workout gear. How many of you remember the only time anyone wore a weight belt was in the gym and only when they were performing heavy squats, heavy dead lifts, or heavy overhead presses? Now it seems virtually everyone is wearing a weight belt! Regardless of how heavy someone's lifting or what exercise they're performing men, women, Arnold wannabes, weekend warriors, and even the elite few who make the cover of Powerlifting USA are all wearing weight belts.

You've all heard the mentality. Squats? "You MUST wear a belt." Bench presses? "You should probably wear a belt." Biceps curls? "To be on the safe side, wearing a belt may be a good idea." Getting a drink of water from the drinking fountain? "Hell, you may as well leave it on since you'll be wearing it for your next set." This scenario does not pertain to everyone, but the point I'm making is that a trend we never used to see in a gym, is one we're seeing more and more everyday.

It's getting ridiculous and way out of hand.

To make matters worse, the trend to wear a weight belt has extended beyond the gym. Trash collectors, truck drivers, and construction workers often spend their entire workday wrapped in a weight belt. Some companies have gone so far as to make it a mandatory safety policy that all their employees wear a back harness. Visit any Home Depot, Office Club, or take a look at the waist of your local package delivery person. What do these employees all have in common? They're all wearing weight belts! Next thing you know, it will not only be against the law to drive without a seatbelt, it will be against the law to operate a vehicle without a weight belt!

This is exactly what I see in the gym everyday! It has become the male equivalent of the neh-neh belts that girls so often pair with their dresses and blouses nowadays.

But we don't actually need the weight lifting belt to help us lift heavy weights! In fact, it may actually have a negative impact on our body. Relying on the weight belt too often causes our body to get lazy and in the end, become more injury prone. We were all born with a natural "weight belt", which is our core.

What exactly is the "core" that we hear so often these days? Quoting www.bodybuilding.com, our core is:

The area of the body, which is commonly referred to as the core, is your midsection and it involves all your muscles in that area including the front, back and sides. The core includes the traverse abdominis (TVA), erector spinae, obliques and your lower lats.

These muscles work as stabilizers for the entire body. Core training is simply doing specific exercises to develop and strengthen these stabilizer muscles.

If any of these core muscles are weakened, it could result in lower back pain or a protruding waistlines. Keeping these core muscles strong can do wonders for your posture and help give you more strength in other exercises like running and walking.

So please people, if any of you decide to seriously start working out if you are not already, please don't embarass yourself by doing what everyone else is doing with the weight belts. Make the effort to do your research and ask questions, because if you don't, and I happen to see you in the gym doing exactly what I just told you guys not to, I will go up to you and SMACK you!

Don't Judge
6:19 p.m. - Tuesday, Oct. 02, 2007

I'm sick and tired of people who are judgemental. Those that judge without solid proof and facts. I'm sure that I have done the same in the past, but I have been trying to change once I realized how hurtful it is. But at least when I judged people in the past, I still gave them a chance to change my mind by either me trying to get to know them better or by listening to others who disagree with me.

But it's those people that don't even want to give the people that they are judging, a chance to change their minds that make me so MAD! They judge without discrimination. When you ask them why they don't like so-and-so, they will either give you a very vague answer, or refuse to answer you. And yet they want you to agree with them! To these people, I tell them to.... KISS MY ASS! What gives you the right to judge others? Are you so pure and innocent that you have commited no sin, spoken no lies, spread no malice? I think not. Even I am not that innocent of that, nor do I profess to be. But at least I try not to judge without giving others a chance. Can you say that for yourself?

Green eyed..
1:29 p.m. - Wednesday, Sept. 26, 2007

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JEALOUS!

I also want to watch J.T live in concert.. *pouts*